Parenting, Part I
There are No Good Parents
There are no good parents and there is no such thing as good parenting. Trying to be good at parenting is an act of lunacy. It’s not possible to be good at something as unpredictable and mysterious as raising children. It would be like trying to be good at dying.
Real vs. Good
Say this out loud, “I’m a good parent.”
Now, say this out loud, “I’m a real parent.”
Note the difference. In parenting (and perhaps in all areas of life), choose real over good and watch what happens.
The Manual for Parenting
People like to say that children don’t come with manuals. That is false. There is a manual. It is published in all of us at a cellular level deep inside our brains. As soon as I remind you of them you’ll remember that you’ve always known them. Here we go, the instructions for raising children are as follows: Chapter one - Protect the Children. Chapter two - Protect the Children. Chapter three - Protect the Children. Chapter four - Protect the Children. And so on, and so forth, you get the idea. That’s it. That’s the requirement. Protect them. See, I told you that you knew them. The conundrum, of course, lies in what we must protect them from. What often eludes us (us = parents, people and politicians) is the difference between what is dangerous for children and what is developmentally appropriate and necessary.
I Like Lists
Because I like lists, I made you a list to help you discern danger from developmental milestones:
If you are spending your time and energy trying to protect children from the Don’t list, you’re probably exhausted. Kids don’t need protection from the Don’t list, they need love, education, and experience on the Don’ts. Ps. (Love + education + experience) is the formula for wisdom). Spend more time on the Do list. Please. I beg you.