March 17, 2020

The HFGWD vs. COVID-19

Global crisis be damned, your kid will still expect a f*@king Easter basket. Skip that insanity. Fill this year’s baskets with toilet paper, canned goods and left over Halloween candy.…
Don't F*@k It Up
February 10, 2020

How to Talk to Your Kids About Your Depression Without Completely F*@king Them Up

Don’t blame your depression on you kids or their behavior because (a) that’s cruel and (b) it’s not true. I realize it feels true, it’s not true.
New Year
January 9, 2020

New Year Resolutions that Almost Cure Depression

Don't spend time with people who want to fix you. Also, don't spend time with people who think it's your job to fix them.
December 10, 2019

You’re Not Depressed, You’re an Asshole

You’re seldom hungry but mindlessly eat anyway, just to feel alive. You might be depressed. You eat whatever you want and never seem to gain weight. You're an asshole.
November 27, 2019

Ten Ways to Ruin Thanksgiving

Show up to Thanksgiving dressed as the zombie, revenge-seeking version of an indigenous person.
November 22, 2019

Ten Ways to Improve Your Depression on a Budget

Lay off the sauce. Alcohol is a depressant. Depression is a depressant. Depressant + Depressant = More Depression.
For College Girls
November 11, 2019

You’re Probably Depressed: THE COLLEGE EDITION

Your sleeping more than you're eating, you’re sleeping more than you’re studying and you’d kill yourself but you’re too sleepy.
Spooky ShitUncategorized
November 1, 2019

Spooky Stuff That Won’t Go Away Because You Like to Pretend it’s Not Happening

Feelings. Your feelings are just information created by your mind to bring about change. If you keep ignoring them they will eat your brains and melt your internal organs.
October 24, 2019

Lies About Women

Women can't get diagnosed or treated for depression if we keep dismissing their symptoms as the price of being female. Suffering, exhaustion and loneliness are not normal, they are symptoms.
October 16, 2019

So You’re In Love with a HFGWD (read this before you f*@k it up)

Learn her love language. Pro Tip: The primary love language of most HFGWD is Quality Time. Just kidding it’s Don’t-Be-A-Dick.
20 Reasons
October 8, 2019

20 Totally Legitimate, No-Bullshit, Practical Reasons Not to Kill Yourself

Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the United States. Tenth? Really? Let’s hold out for heart disease, it's #1 and so are you.
yo mama MamaUncategorized
September 29, 2019

Yo Mama

Yo mama’s had so much therapy she’s actually a really good mama who maintains appropriate boundaries and doesn’t take responsibility for other people’s emotions.
You Might Be Signs
September 23, 2019

You Might Be A HFGWD If…

People think you’re a perfectionist but in real life you’ve been wearing the same two bras for seven years.
Things You Shouldn't Say DoughnutsJust Don'tMostly True Information
September 13, 2019

Things You Shouldn’t Say

Miracle Stories, like the "true story" of your co-worker who "used to be depressed but fell in love and now is 100% cured.” Acceptable Alternative: “I bought you this doughnut.”
Depression Crazy TownJust Don'tMostly True Information
August 25, 2019

Lies, Half Truths & Neurotic Fantasies

You are responsible for every single bad thing that is happening in the lives of everyone you love: LIE.
Shit that is Easier Said Bad AdviceDoughnutsMostly True Information
August 16, 2019

Shit That is Easier Said Than Done

1. Just feeling better. 2. Talking about it with friends. 3. Not feeling like a burden to everyone who loves you. 4. Skinny jeans.
High Functioning Girls with Depression Presents Basic ShitMostly True Information
August 12, 2019

Basic Shit

Depression is mostly biology and genetics (thanks Mom).
Real Talk Real Talk
August 7, 2019

Real Talk

High functioning girls with depression are hard to spot.