YO MAMA

By September 29, 2019 October 8th, 2019 Mama, Uncategorized
yo mama

HFGWD Presents A SPECIAL BIRTHDAY EDITION: Yo Mama…

  1. Yo mama is so depressed you were conceived during hospital visiting hours.
  2. Yo mama takes so many meds she comes with her own package insert, “Might cause dizziness, constipation, diarrhea, nausea, dry mouth, restlessness, weight gain, blurred vision, confusion, problems urinating, headaches, insomnia, decreased sexual desire, increased sexual desire and erectile dysfunction. Best not exceed the recommended dose.”
  3. Yo mama is so depressed you have to take her shoe laces away at night.
  4. Yo mama’s been inpatient so many times all her socks have rubber grips on the bottom.
  5. Yo mama is so depressed instead of a timeout she asks for a 72 hour hold.
  6. Yo mama’s been inpatient so many times she met your daddy at the med window.
  7. Yo mama takes so many meds she named you Celexa.
  8. Yo mama’s had so much therapy she’s become a really good mama who maintains appropriate boundaries, doesn’t take responsibility for other people’s emotions and hasn’t sold any of your organs for drugs this week.  #ungratefulbastards #dontknowhowgoodyouhaveit #entitled
  9. Yo mama is so depressed the doctor put a diagnosis on your birth certificate.
  10. Yo mama is so depressed she thinks HFGWD is about her (it literally is).

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